ANONYMOUS SUBMISSION #0066 – AN ADDICTS STORY

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This year, I am going on 17 years being clean from opiates. I have been to treatment 3 times in my life.

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I remember how hard it was to connect with some workers due to not having experienced addictions. It’s easy to read a book nowadays or take a course to get a certification; however, addicts only relates to other addicts, just like an alcoholics can relate to other alcoholics.

I remember this one worker telling me he smoked pot when he was younger. I ask that worker? Did your stomach cramp to the point that death would feel beter? Did you have the feeling of anxiety and aching legs while you lay there thinking of your next fix? Have you ever been driven to do things that you didnt want to do? The worker stated “no” . I looked up at him and told him that he didn’t truly understand or comprehend what I am going through. He look at me and didn’t know how to respond.

Later that day he put in a request for a worker change. He avoided me the last 2 weeks in treatment. It wasnt beneficial to my recovery because I felt like I did something wrong.

It wasnt until I went to the Bridge in Kentucky that I seen myself for the first time. I never knew that I carried so much anger, pain and rage that originated from my childhood. I was so good at hiding it by this point in my life that it almost went undetected.

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However, the workers and my peers seen through my defence mechanisms. If it wasnt for my workers and my peers who experienced the exact issues that I had. I wouldn’t got the help that I needed. I am grateful for all of them.

Sometimes, I make mistakes because I am only human. They are my mistakes and my mistakes only. I know, I can be a better husband, father, friend, cousin, brother and son.

The beauty of life is that it’s never too late to start making these amends. It starts with forgiving yourself and others by letting it go, being fearless and taking that first step.

It’s easy to see addiction for what it is. What is hard, is seeing that person for who he/she is. It’s easy for us to judge suffering and struggling people especially when we never walked in thier shoes. It was a process for my own recovery.

The hardest part of my recovery was my post acute withdrawals. They lingered constantly for the first 3 years. I would be restless with aching legs and anxiety were relentless. It almost driven me to use many times in my early stages of recovery. These are now rare espisides and happens once every few years. It’s something that my body will never forget.

Over the last 17 years, most of my friends that I used with are now deceased. One person in particular moved away from Thunder Bay like I did, just to escape. He had family, went to school for addictions and graduated.

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I can honestly say that I would be another statistic if it was for him. He had his last relaspe in 2012 and is now with the creator. Being a recovering addict isn’t easy. We recieve alot more stress, anxiety and feel more pain than someone who never experienced opiate addiction. No one can compare with that or understand unless you walked in their shoes.

Addiction is cunning and baffling even in recovery. It is important to be sensitive towards the ones that are struggling instead of blasting them all over social media calling them junkies, they are people. This may be your brother, sister mother or father someday so be careful when you post.

You may be the barrier that prevents someone who is struggling with opiate addiction from getting help that they need.

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6 Replies to “ANONYMOUS SUBMISSION #0066 – AN ADDICTS STORY”

  1. Thank you for your story. I didn’t know how to help the addicts (my family) I knew In my life. I was mostly just angry because they hurt everyone that loved them. There was nothing I could have done to save any of them. All I can say is that everyday I didn’t give money or enable in any way they lived one more day. I never and still don’t understand why they became intravenous drug users. We had the same childhood. I’m not a junkie. It’s the friends you keep that get you started.

  2. your post got to me, i have much respect for you, my gf was an opiate addict and has now been clean for over 4 years, im very proud of her, it took alot for me to stay with her through it all cause as you said it turns you into a person your not and forces you to do things that hurt yourself and others. i love her and stuck with her, i helped her get the help she needed, she has been on the methadone program since recieveing help and is almost off of it now, since her first methadone dose she has never touched anything else and i am so proud of her,
    even though what she did hurt me i still would go through it all again for her if need be cause she is the love of my life and i believe in her. i understand where you are coming from with this post and agree with you completely addiction is a mental illness and should be treated as such, dont look down on anyone until you have walked a day in there shoes, and reach out to people rather than call them down. if you call them down it could be that final step that makes them turn away from help, treat others as you wish to be treated no matter what!!
    i have great respect for the original poster of this message and wish you the best in life…

  3. God bless you. I have used opiates in the past, I have family and friends who struggle on a daily basis to fight this demon, I have witnessed lives being destroyed and lives being lost due to this addiction. I was lucky enough not to fall into the deathly clutches of this addiction, and for that I am forever grateful and blessed. I pray for those who are struggling with this, and for those who are fighting for a better life. Never give up. Your strength is inspiring, and will change lives.

  4. First of all; thank you for sharing and having the courage to type this. I am walking in my road to recovery as well. It’s been a year since my last relapse and before that was almost six years. I like reading stories like this, because it helps me as well knowing I’m not alone. Miigwetch again!! 🙂

  5. The Bridge is awesome! I have family members that have been through that program and it’s been the bestt
    Thank you for sharing your story 💜

  6. Very good write-up. What do you mean a friend of yours moved from Thunder Bay “just to escape”. That is very interesting.

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